The Motherless

I'm currently breaking one of the Ten Commandments. The 10th one to be exact: "....Thou shalt not covet anything that is your neighbors." No, I'm not coveting my neighbors house, car, or fame. It's way more important than that. I'm coveting his mom.

Mother's day is the day you get to hold your mom, tell her how much you love her and shower her with gifts. But what about those of us who are Motherless? What happens to us? We get to quietly watch all of you with a pain in our hearts that we don't speak about. Every commercial reminding us about Sunday is like a waterfall of grief that showers over us again and again.  It's an indescribable pain to not have a mom. Those phone calls of small talk, the I love you's and even the admonishments that are no longer there leave a pain that doesn't leave you. Yes, over time it abates but it never fully goes away. You learn how to live with it. You would think that after almost 4 years of Mother's day's I would know how to deal with this coming up weekend but it doesn't get easier.

I have a girlfriend who just a couple of months ago lost her mom suddenly. The Motherless Club used to be a member of 1, but now unfortunately it's a member of 2. So this year we are going to go up to the mountains and watch the sunrise while drinking Starbucks (my mom's favorite java) and probably cry a ton. I'm thinking of next year inviting as many motherless on Mother's day and am gonna call it The Motherless Daughter/Son Day . There is strength and comfort in the sharing of our grief. Not to mention the therapeutic benefit knowing that there are people out there who understand you on that level.

To all of you who don't have a mommy to hold on Mother's Day and don't have a grave to visit, take your mother's favorite flower and place it in your local lake, the mountains or just someplace that is special to you in her honor. Take comfort in knowing that there are 2 of us who will be doing this with you.