Pre-Dawn Church

Due to going to school now and working full-time, I find that I'm pretty exhuasted at the end of the day. I just want to do homework and go to bed. So, in order to keep myself in somewhat decent shape I've been running. Well, trying to get in shape is one reason but the other reason is because I'm running the 5K Race for the Cure this year in honor of a good friend of mine who is currently fighting breast cancer. I don't want to embarrass myself by running 3 miles in 2 hours! The only time I can find that I can run is in the morning. Pre-morning actually. I run at 4:30am so I can be at work by 7 to get out by 5 and be done with school around 7. Yes, it's brutal and there are mornings, like this one, where tears came to my eyes because I just wanted to stay in bed. But, I dragged myself out of bed and ran around Rocky Mountain Lake Park. I think I finally started to wake up after running half a mile. It was so beautiful and peaceful and during this run I vowed to myself that I would not allow anyone or anything to get in the way of me accomplishing my dreams, including myself. I am too much of a free spirit to be locked away in an office doing computer work all day long. It stifles my inner child and she MUST be allowed to run free every once in a while or she gets very irritable!!

Running is so cleansing to me. With every step I take, I imagine sloughing off all my worries, cares, burdens, stresses and leaving them where I just ran and moving forward to clean beginnings. It's almost like going to church to me. I love running until I feel the sweat run down the back of my knees. I know, I know....that's gross and all, but I see that as getting rid of all the impurities I've put on myself. I run until my lungs scream for breath and when I think I can't run anymore, I set a new goal. Ok, Rae....run to that trash can. You can do it!! And then I force myself to get there and once I'm there, I set a new goal. Only when I feel that I'm going to damn near pass out will I stop pushing my body and walk for a while to lower my heartrate and then I'll run again. I love the adrenaline that's running thru my body as I'm running. I love that in a few months I'll look bomb-diggity. I love that I can be dedicated even though it's so hard. A good friend said to me the other morning that I was one of the most ambitious and dedicated people that he's ever met. That was nice to hear. As I write this blog now, I feel like running. Maybe I'll throw on those Nike's..................