Dangerous Games

My mind is racing in a milion different directions. I'm playing a dangerous game that I fear I will lose. I think I'm more distrubed that I WANT to play this game. A game that could possibly crush and destroy me, but that has the possibility of giving me a few moments of bliss and ecstasy.......Like Julia Roberts said in Steel Magnolias: I'd rather have 5 minutes of wonderful then a lifetime of nothing special........but can my heart take it??