I'm not the One.....

I watched Grey's last night and was almost insanely jealous of Meredith. Her man, Mc Dreamy is the perfect guy for a girl like Meredith. She has so many hang ups, so many doubts, so many ill-conceived thoughts of what a relationship is or isn't, yet there is her rock, Mc Dreamy. No matter how many times she freaks out at their relationship, he calmly moves her hair out of her face, takes her face in his hands, and tells her to take her time, then says he loves her and calms her fears. Everytime! He has the patience of a man, who sees the potential that Meredith has. He sees the diamond in the rough that she is and is determined to stay by her until she sees herself as he sees her.

What happened to men like that? Where are they? What happened to loving a woman for who she was, not for the sexual ability she had? I'm so tired of men for that. Um, if i wanted to fuck you, I would. I'm tired of guys saying things that they think I want to hear, instead of being honest.

I've known this guy *Greencard (I'm protecting the names of the fuckin idiotic just because I'm nice.) for about 3 months. I stay pretty busy because I like to stay busy. He'll always text me and say, so any plans for tonight? First of all, if you really wanted to spend any kind of time with me that didn't include the horizontal position, you would have called way ahead of time and tried to schedule some time. Secondly, why the hell are you texting me at 9 at night to see if I'm busy?? Really??? Greencard just text me asking if I had plan today and it's semi-early so I won't rip into him too bad, but when I say I do, he says......wait......wait for it....."i'll miss you tonight." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! I wanted to absolutely scream at my phone, but it's not my phone's fault so I take a deep breath and did what I do best: be a bitch. I sent him a text back that simply said I'm not the one. I'm not sure if he'll understand that but I'm really not the one!! I hate men that say what they think I want to hear. Most of my friends know that I'm not your average woman. Take what most woman like: flowers, cards, candy and toss all that shit out the fuckin window. Don't give me flowers because you fucked up or because you feel like you have to. I'll throw them away. I don't like candy so I'll just end up giving it away. I'd have so much more respect for a man that said, Hey Rae, I just wanna fuck. Not that I'm gonna fuck you, but at least you're honest and up front!! Fuckin A!!! Whisper sweet nothings in another bitch's ear cuz this one has heard it all already.

Now let's talk about the *Baby. This fool is like 19 years old and thinks he can "holla" at someone like me. Again....REALLY??? What could you possibly have that I want or need?? Come on!!! He constantly texts me, and I don't ever answer them. Why hasn't he gotten the fuckin hint? How many times can I say, I don't want anything from you?? I honestly think he's masochistic. This fool never gets answered back, he always gets sent to vm, yet he is still persistant!!! Say it with me....EW!!!

I'm just fed up and like my friend Nate said, I really sometimes wonder why I even try anymore! I want a cross of Edward with a dash of Derek. Someone who is going to take the time to get to know me.......does that exist anymore??