I Love You.

So...this past Saturday was lil black dress nite. It was amazing.

Today I have more on my mind then that though. I couldn't sleep yet again last nite, so I left my TV on really low, thinking that the background noise would soothe me. Right as I was falling asleep I heard about the plane crash. This is one of my biggest fears. To die in a plane crash. I'm not afraid to die, but afraid of the way I'm going to die. I want to die peacefully, not screaming and terrified. I don't want my final moments on earth with tears, as I would imagine a plane crash would do to me. When September 11th hit, I was in such a state of anguish. When I watched the 2nd plane hit the towers, I fell to the floor sobbing. No, I didn't know anyone that died, but my heart ached for the people on the plane. They knew they were going to die. I couldn't imagine the horror they felt. I thought about the mothers trying to comfort their very confused children. I thought about everyone on that plane, who wished they had the opportunity to say I love you, to their loved ones, just one last time. As I sat on the floor crying, I thought of the families left behind, who had to try to piece together their broken lives.

My heart aches today as I hear on the news about the newest plane crash in Buffalo. I hope the people on the plane were sleeping peacefully, reading, or doing something other then knowing they were going to crash. I hope they never felt one tiny bit of hurt or pain. I feel for the families left behind, who had their loved ones ripped away from them. Death is always a painful ordeal, but to have someone taken from you suddenly, it leaves a deeper hole. I guess that's why my dad would always tell me to "live each day as my last."

To the families who lost loved ones on Flight 3407, I can't even begin to understand the enormous amount of pain you are in. There are no words that I can say to ease that pain and saying I'm sorry for your loss, is such an asinine statement. So I will simply say, May each day that dawns bring you some peace.

Life is too short for us to worry about trivial things. We get so caught up in them, that we forget to cherish the people around us until something tragic like this happens. Make sure all the people around you know that you love and cherish them. We shouldn't be telling everyone at a funeral how much the person in the casket meant to us. At that point, it's too late. Yes, we are all going to have some kinds of regret when someone close to us dies, but we can eliminate that by acting as if each day were our last. Nothing is guaranteed in life. Not even our very next breath. So let each minute count.

To my family and friends who read my blog, I love you. Immensely. My life wouldn't be the same without you in it.

Because I'm one too!

So for those of you who didn't know, I nanny. At first I was a little apprehensive about nannying some random child that I don't know, but it's turned out to be a lot of fun. Will is a great kid and I really enjoy spending time with him. We are currently working on his reading, so I take him to the library once a week and we get as many books as he wants. Then, we come home and read the books together. Last night we read a book called One Witch. It basically went from 1-10 with various creatures in the book. When we got to 5, there were 5 vampires with fresh blood. (I know that sounds creepy but the whole book was like this..oh and it was totally suitable for kids!) I read that line to him and he looked at the picture. Then he looked up at me and said, "You're a vampire." There was no question in his voice, just a simple statement.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have a sick love of vampires. I love everything about them. My love started at Will's age...in kindergarten and has only grown. My mom thought I was going to grow out of this "phase" but nope!! I looked at Will shocked because I have never, ever spoken of this love of vampires to him. I said, what?? He said again "you're a vampire." I asked him what made him say that. He looked around the kitchen and motioned for me to come close to him and he said in a conspirators whisper "cuz I'm one too!!!!" I wanted to laugh out loud, but the look in his eyes was so serious that I dare not. So I simply nodded once to him. He nodded back, then turned the page to his book.

I love this kid :)

Little Black Dress

I'm in a content mood today. Maybe it was the buckwheat pancakes with banana's (which I am quite surprised that they were actually good) or the fact that I slept really well last night. I had a weird dream about the x hubby last night that had me saying WTF?!?!? at 5:30 this am. The sun is shining and I'm enjoying life. I've decided to quit pressuring myself into being what I'm "supposed" to be or do and just live life day by day. What's the point of stressing over the future and missing out on the now??

I had a great conversation with Nate last night. I was happy to hear how happy he was and how great his Vegas trip went. Lucky bastard :)

So my gf Cheryl is throwing a birthday party for me this weekend. My birthday is in a few weeks but since it's so close to Valentines Day she decided to throw it early. This will be my first actual birthday party where I plan nothing. My x hubby would "throw" me one, but it was always me who called people and organized it. Cheryl is doing everything. I have no clue what I'm doing except for the only clue she gave me: lots of dancing and drinking. I've already made up my mind not to get wasted because I am going snowboarding on Sunday. Snowboarding while hung over in higher elevations is a nightmare! We are wearing little black dresses, which should be fun. I ordered mine and got it yesterday. It's a little more scandalous then I thought it was gonna be. It's very open back.......Yikes....I'm starting to chicken out of wearing it, but I'm excited for us 10 girls to have fun....I banned cameras :)